Beautiful Feedback - Thank you Nancy!

A client of mine offered some feedback regarding my services and I just wanted to share this with you. This is truly a client who worked with me every step of the way. Her input, her focus on her own situation, and her dedication to her own path is what really made things work so wonderfully. 
I want to give her back as much credit as she has given to me! 

Here is her feedback:

From: Nancy
Azz has helped me with four castings. The first was a work related issue during the fall of 2010. That issue required a 7 night casting. It was completely successful (despite major issues) and it was fully resolved within 3 days post casting.  The remaining three castings were all relationship related and done between 2010 and 2013. (One has just been completed so we will await results). The other two were successful. The intention was met in both of them. Thinking back, what I requested did happen in one of them as I had stated. I probably should have thought about a different outcome as I got what I asked for, then didn't want it that way (ha ha). Bottom line, Azzrian gets results! I believe she is so successful because of several reasons: First of all, she knows all the intricate details of casting (how to utilize the lunar cycle, what to ask for, what not to ask for, how to word things appropriately, now not to cloud the intention with too many requests.) Secondly, she has a keen psychic insight to read people. She won't even do a casting or recommend it unless she firmly believes in the cause. In fact, she doesn't even bring up casting, you have to bring it up to her and then she will only do it in certain situations she feels it will work well for.  Thirdly, when you hire her do to a casting, you know it is actually being done (not like other casters I have heard of who just take your money and go to bed.)  Azz stays up late every night of a casting, night after night until it is completely done. She contacts you throughout the casting to give and receive updates.  She is a true professional! I highly recommend her.

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Empowerment and Being A Woman

Sometimes I feel like my sisters do not quite understand what Empowerment truly is. 

Looking back through history we can find reference to all sorts of Women’s Movements for rights, equality, social justice, and so on. One may say that it all began when women had to go to work while their husband’s were fighting in World War II, however you can go back much further than that and find women also fought for their equality back in 1848. Then in the 1970’s we had another awakening. Here is a wonderful timeline reference if you are curious. It outlines by a timeline the battle for our rights. http://www.infoplease.com/spot/womenstimeline1.html

I can’t say that this is all inclusive, as every day women fight for their rights, for their empowerment, for their equality.

Regardless, we as women also have a duty to ourselves to really understand what the ideas behind being Empowered women really means. More often than not it is not the men who take our empowerment from us, but we do it to ourselves.

Here are some tips from me about what Empowerment is, and what it is not. 

Throwing our sexuality around is not being empowered. 

Okay ladies, we all know we have what men want. We generally know how to use it. Even when we don’t know how to use it men generally find a way to make us feel like we do, especially when they want “it” from us! Just because you can make a man week in the knees, make him do your bidding, get him to cheat on his wife or girlfriend, or talk him into washing your car and walking your dog, does not mean you are empowered or that you are asserting your rights as a women. Really, what you are doing is demeaning the idea of womanhood. 

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with being sexy with a gentleman you have an established relationship with, and of course flirting is a part of the process when dating, but only when it is sincere. Which leads me to the second point.

Being a female “player” is not empowerment. 

When you begin to act like the men that you have probably encountered, and complained about, you are not showing empowerment, rather you are just being a jerk. Two rights don’t make a wrong, and while that is cliche’ it is true. Acting toward men they way you have been treated by them will not prove you are a strong woman, nor will it find you much happiness. Men are human, just like you, and they do have feelings. Just about the time you feel you have had enough of the games men play, and decide to play their game, only better, you will meet that one gem in the rough, and treat him with disregard, missing out on one great guy! Women typically attract the wrong kind of man, its one of life’s mysteries. This means just at the time you decide to go into “Bitch” mode, the perfect guy will surely come along and you will blow it. 

Just treat everyone you meet with respect, but remember you have to respect yourself. I never have seen a woman in this frame of mind who was acting, demonstrating, or exuding, self respect. When you go into female player mode, you look ridiculous, just like the men do, so stop it. 

This brings me to my next point.

Tenderness is not weakness.

One thing that men love about women is that we are tender, nurturing, kind, and caring. Women and men ARE different, for a reason, if men were as tender, caring, kind, and nurturing as women, we would not be attracted to them! Sure, we want a man who can be loving, romantic, and caring toward us, but more often than not when a man is too much this way they are coined as being whipped, or weak, and women turn away from them. Women tend to want the “bad boy” and that is not so much a generalization  as it seems. Women want to feel they would be protected, supported, even if supported in the things they themselves want to accomplish. I do not make these statements to make it seem I think, or feel that women NEED a “strong man” but women do tend to seek out men who are independent, strong, accomplished, striving for something in their lives. Nothing sends a woman running for the hills more than a needy, clingy, love song singing man. 

Lately, however, I have seen an influx of women who are refusing to let down their walls. Due to being treated poorly by the last guy, they insist that they will not show any tenderness to the next man, until that man has proven himself. This is where I believe women are confusing tenderness for sex. I agree, you should not be sexing a man until he has proven himself, but if you don’t show him your tenderness, your ability to connect emotionally, your openness to being cared FOR, then you may as well just shut yourself in a room all alone with a glass of wine and a vibrator. 

Men are just like women, only opposite, we tend to look for a strong capable man and men tend to look for a tender caring woman. Of course then we both have the issue of faulting the opposite sex for having the traits we love most about them but that is for another article! 

The point is part of what is beautiful about us women is that we do have these wonderful traits, and if you are not allowing those traits to shine you are not being empowered, you are just in denial about what it is that makes a woman, a woman. 

Taking on "typical male" attributes is not empowerment. 

Now this is not like being a female player. Women and men use their “player” skills quite differently. However, sometimes women will go into this mode of being very male like in their words, comments, actions, and reactions to things. Women will become desensitized, crass, take on male attributes, get involved in male centered activities, become “one of the boys” to focus their lives around male “friends”, all the while declaring that they don’t really like any of them as more than friends, which is usually just lying to yourself. 

Being “one of the guys” often is just another way to be sure you have a man or many men in your life, so you feel you have a male counterpart, when really you have no true interest in playing dodge ball on your Sunday off, or watching the game. Sure may of us do enjoy watching the game, like playing sports and typical guy things and I am not trying to generalize all women as “mall girls”, but the point is that if you are centering, and changing your lifestyle to be around guys, losing touch with your female friends, or losing them due to the way you are acting, then your not being true to yourself. 

When your conversations with your girlfriends revolves around talk about what you did with “the boys” and you are insisting you don’t have a crush on even one of them, yet then complain about their girlfriends, or endlessly talk about how they all want you, but you have told them you are not interested, you are fooling yourself. Your not however fooling your girlfriends! 

Boundaries Versus Ultimatums.

Women often tend to confuse boundaries and ultimatums. Its great to set boundaries! I recommend them to every client, both women and men. Not only setting boundaries but expressing them clearly to the person in your life, the sooner the better. Most importantly, standing by your boundaries! There is nothing as self sabotaging as setting your own boundaries aside! Often people fail to set boundaries because then they will have to stand by them or look like they are weak. If you can’t manage to set a firm boundary and stand by it then perhaps you just are weak. Then you need some life coaching or counseling. Again that is for another article. Regardless, Its good to establish expectations, boundaries, lines in the sand, and to stand by them. This is not the same as an ultimatum! Don’t confuse the two!  

An ultimatum would sound something like this:

If you don’t (insert something here), then I won’t (insert something here).

An ultimatum usually involves an exchange of some kind and is a form of emotional blackmail. 

Boundaries usually sound like this:

I have a personal rule that I don’t (insert something here), until (insert expectation or timeline here). 

Boundaries are expressed upfront, before emotional attachment develops, and before mind games can come into play. 

Ultimatums come up after there is a problem! 

Class is empowering. 

I feel sometimes like we need to go back in the days of the Classic Hollywood Starlets. Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Vivien Leigh, Ingrid Bergman, Lauren Bacall, just to name a few, in order to recall what true grace and class is all about. Its not just the black and white films, the blingy jewelry, the handsome co-stars, and such that make these women come over as so sophisticated, but rather a sign of the times when these films were made. Even though Vivien Leigh, as Scarlet O’Hara, did not necessarily have the best of luck in Gone with the Wind, at the end she finally found her empowerment, and stated such with a passion! Then, sweet innocent farm girl Dorothy, played by the amazing actress Judy Garland, finds her courage and strength and thus the man behind the curtain! 

If only we could capture some of the grace and class these women had and put it in a bottle! 

What is it about “those times” that made these women so capable, so determined in a male dominated world, in such a cut-throat business. It could be how they were raised, it could have been where they were raised, it could have been that they were really just intelligent, shrewd, and cunning, but I feel it all comes back to an innocence, a trust, a belief that women are born with but lose somewhere along the way. A belief that there is beauty in all things, good in all people, that there is a way to emotionally connect with everyone and see their pains, their fears, their hurts, and their point of view. This is the gift every woman has. Its called forgiveness. 

If we as women can embrace that gift, the connection we have with others, and allow ourselves to simply be what is in our nature, we would feel so much more empowered. 

This does not mean that we become doormats, nor that we lay down our ambitions, nor that we allow others to harm us, only that we can let go of our own angers, release past negative experiences that have jaded us, learn from them, forgive and move forward in a healthy way. 

Now that is class! 

Be a lady - Be empowered.

Empowerment means allowing our wonderful womanly attributes to shine! Letting others, men, the world see that we are loving, caring, emotionally connected, nurturing, and warm. Yet, with all of that, we are strong, we have independence, we are capable of greatness, we respect our bodies and our minds, we hold our heads high, walk with dignity and grace, right wrongs, and set boundaries firmly and stand by them! 

We do not waiver, we do not relinquish. We do not set aside our core beliefs, we do not become wall flowers nor party girls, we do not cater to the egos of men just to get ahead, we do not use our bodies as tools to trick, manipulate, or trip men up. 

We are equals, we are not out to prove that, especially not by hurting or setting men up to show our advantage or authority, that only works against the overall view of women as being equals. We do not need to prove it by playing dirty, we prove it by living by a simple code of do no harm. We prove it by having our own moral compass, setting boundaries, and living up to them, with no excuses and no apologies. 

We feel confident being caring, showing concern, taking care of others, and shooting a radiant smile toward those we care for. We know when to walk away to save ourselves, without anger or hatred. We don’t beg for anything, we work for it. We earn it. We own it. We don’t flaunt what we have, what we have done, or where we are headed. We are classy, we are graceful, we are WOMAN! 

And that is what I call EMPOWERMENT. 

Ambulance Chasing Psychic Experts

Sometimes, a client will contact me and ask me if I see anything for them. More often than not I know exactly what has occurred. The situation is this: The client is working with more than one advisor, which is fine, as long as it has not become an addictive problem, and they are not becoming utterly confused about who to listen to. We have to remember that many psychic experts are not just psychic, but also giving life coaching advice, and other emotional assistance. This is why in other articles I have firmly suggested having no more than two, or at most three advisors. Regardless, sometimes a client will tell me that another advisor has emailed them, out of the blue, suggesting that they have news for them, and that they have seen things for them. So they are now contacting me to see if I am getting messages for them too. It is as if the client wants me to validate what the other expert is seeing or saying to them. Or the client wants me to validate that it is possible the other expert is really getting messages at all. This is your own intuition telling you beware!

Now I am not saying this is impossible, or that it never happens. There are times I will wake up in the middle of the night with a vision for a client. What is important though is that you know a few things. First of all - it is impossible, for any advisor who is actively working with many clients, sometimes hundreds, to simply stay tuned into your specific energy at all times. That would take far too much energy from that advisor, to remain “tapped into” your energy all of the time along with all their other clients as well.

Secondly you have to ask yourself “How has this advisor approached me?” Did they offer this information for you free of charge? Or did they suggest you need a reading? You see if I get a message for a client that is so important that it wakes me up out of a dead sleep, or is lingering on my energy for a day or more, without me even trying to focus on that person’s energy, AND if this message is important enough for me to reach out to the client myself, then it is important enough to just give the client that information free of charge and if the client still wants a deeper focus, and more info, then and only then would a reading come into play.

Yes I do this for my living, it is my calling, it is my gift as much as a pro athlete makes money from their gift, or a brain surgeon does theirs, or an artist. I do deserve to be paid for the time, the energy, emotional, mental, and even physical drain that doing psychic works causes me, BUT again, if I am reaching out to you because I felt so compelled by my visions to do so, then I am not going to expect you to pay me for that information. Okay now if you want to ask questions on other things by all means that would be a different story, and I would expect you to pay for that. However, I would still give you the information that was so important, so pressing, that I reach out to you myself, to you, for free.

As a client, you need to be careful not to take the bait of some otherwise unscrupulous experts who may indeed plant a seed to get you to pay for a service you otherwise didn’t think you needed. Life is meant to be lived, sometimes we are not meant to know every single little minute detail of what is to come. Sometimes the lesson we are meant to learn or the gift we are going to bestowed is meant to be a mystery! If you are otherwise happy, living your life, and see no reason to reach out to an expert yourself, yet an expert reaches out to you, then you should really question the motives of that expert. Now keep in mind, sometimes yes a message is SO loud, SO strong, and clear that an expert feels they MUST let their client know. But again, when that happens, the expert should also feel compelled to just give you that information, not give you a one liner then hope you will pay them for the rest! That is just human kindness, and also in my opinion the duty and responsibility of a psychic! I mean what kind of expert would withhold life changing or altering information when they contacted the client themselves?

This leads me to discuss trust between client and expert. You really need to work with only one or two experts so that you can develop a real bond with them. So that you know you can trust them. So that you know how they work. I do have at any given time between 1 to 3 clients, never more than that, that I work with on a monthly basis. These are clients going through some hard times, or who are even really making great strides in their life path and need on going guidance! These clients pay me a one time fee and get unlimited readings for an entire month. These are the only clients I allow myself to stay “tapped into” 24/7. If you know your advisor, and trust him or her, then there is no reason you should need to ask another expert you have worked with for validation of what this expert is seeing. If you feel you need to ask for validation then the real problem is your other advisor has not built up trust or a bond with you. This is a sure sign you probably should either not be working with them, or that you have too many advisors and don’t know who to listen to.

So the point is, just be careful when approached by an advisor who says they have messages for you. I would do a little investigating and ask them how they received these messages. I won’t claim to be the expert on telling other advisors how to conduct their personal business practices. If they actually set aside a few times a week to zone in and focus on each client they have and they are legitimately getting real messages for their clients, then so be it. To me however I rarely reach out to a client personally unless I am sending out a newsletter, or offering a discount, but that is usually something I send to everyone on my mailing list, and only to those who signed up for that list. I am not saying it is impossible for an advisor to get a message for a specific client, but more importantly you should be told how they got this message.

You see, to me, I feel it is an invasion of privacy to set aside a time to zone in on a clients’ energy without their consent. To me, that is snooping. I would not want someone doing that to me, and I do not do it to others. However if you have an agreement with your expert that they can do this, and that you want them to do this, then that is a different story. But keep in mind, it takes a great deal of energy and time for an expert to tap into any energy and doing this many times a day would leave an expert pretty taxed. Yes we do have meditations and exercises that we do as experts to release energy, to ground our own energy, etc, but as a rule, if you have an expert that is seeming to only be trying to generate themselves more income by suggesting they are getting messages for you then saying you need a reading, or even alluding to that idea then you should be careful.

Especially stay away from experts who use fear tactics to get you to have more readings,.
Be wary of those who use “I have some amazing news for you” to get you to have more readings.
Just come out and ask them “what is this great news?” or “what is this terrible event you are seeing?”
If they refuse to answer and say “Oh well you need a reading for that.” then obviously they are just trying to generate some income off your vulnerability!

Let me give you an example of how this scenario should go under reasonable circumstances:

Expert via email to Client:
Dear Client, I am getting some very important messages for you today. I have been getting these messages and I won’t feel right if I do not tell you about them. I am seeing (insert situation here) happening in the coming (insert timeline here) and I feel that you may want to handle it in this way (insert advice here). I just wanted to let you know so you would be aware and prepared for the situation to come as I did not want you to feel sidewinded by it.
Advisor Name.

You see this email gives you the message they got, and gives advice on how to deal with the situation! To me this is fair. As long as the expert tells you those two main things, which are A) what they see and B) how to handle things, then they have done their duty.

As a client you should not really expect more than that. Even if you want to know more, get deeper intel on the situation you have to respect that the expert did not intentionally do a deep focus on you, and probably does not have more information than they have given you. You can’t expect them to then go into focusing on this situation, and every minute aspect of it let alone answer three questions on three other topics totally unrelated, for free.

Just be happy that the expert reached out to you and offered what they saw in their vision to you for free, along with the advice on how to handle the situation.

This scenario is how it should work.

Now if your email looks more like this:

Expert via email to Client:
Dear Client, I am getting some very distressing / exciting messages for you! Please contact me so we can discuss the messages I am receiving!
Advisor Name

This second example is baiting! Especially if you do email the expert back and they say “we can do a reading” or “lets take a look, meet me in a live chat” or “would you like me to do an email reading for you?” anything like this is a warning sign this expert is simply out to generate income.

There are far more honest advisors out there than unscrupulous ones, just as in any business there will be bad apples spoiling the bunch. Even your friendly local plumber can be a shyster bulking up your bill with materials they never used, in any profession you will have the great ones, and the bad ones.

Remember friends, just because a person is psychic does not mean they are ethical!

To Stay or to Go? The What If’s

So my family began to watch the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother” from beginning to end as we never really got into it back when it first started airing. After seeing a few re-runs we decided we loved it and began to watch from the beginning. The main character, although they all seem to share the spotlight, but the character the show is mostly about is what brought me to write this article. His name is Ted. Ted is a true romantic by all means of the word. Every relationship he gets involved in is with “THE ONE” or at least he believes she could be “the one” and treats the relationship as such from the get go. Yes, he sounds too good to be true lol but that is not the point. Ted, feels that you never know who “the one” is going to be, and that even if she is not “the one” through meeting her he may meet the real person who is to be “the one”. 

Often times the story line of the show leads us to understand how the butterfly effect is always in play. If one thing had not happened, it would not bring us to our eventual outcome that is the destiny. I have written on this very topic many times in many ways via many articles. But still, this is not the point I am wanting to make. 

The point I am wanting to make with this article is how do we know when to follow a path or end it? How do we know when we are supposed to keep trying with someone or let it go? A lot of my readings are on this very topic! Many people ask me “Should I avoid him or is he part of my path? Is he worth my time?” This is not exclusive to women asking either. Plenty of men ask the same questions about us ladies! 

So should you keep moving forward even if you feel red flags about someone? Should you throw in the towel early on and save yourself time, energy, effort, and maybe even a broken heart? 

The question then becomes what if you miss something you were supposed to learn because you left too soon? What if you were supposed to meet someone through the time knowing them? What if .... 

Now I by no means ever want anyone to stay in a relationship or continue dating someone who is rude, abusive, or has serious issues of their own. There is no point in that! Sometimes however it is possible that giving up too soon could mean missing a step with someone else. However my true belief is that if you are “destined” to meet someone you will, eventually, regardless of how many steps it takes to get to them! When one window closes, another one opens up, and vice versa. Nothing is set in stone, and relationships can come and go but if by ending something too soon we “miss out” on something that something will come to you another way in its own due time. It may make it take longer to get there but in that time also you will learn more lessons from others, in other situations, which can only add to the benefit of meeting “the one” later in life rather than earlier. So really you can’t go wrong. 

Granted you may be able to side step some tough lessons with others along the way if you duck out sooner, rather than later. Perhaps save yourself a few broken hearts, or frustrations even but then what have you truly gained? What has side stepping anything really ever got someone? I find that taking the hard road is more often beneficial in the long run rather than the easy path as we learn so much more in the collective and the more we learn in our lives the more we are ready for the right person when they come along! Again, I want to state firmly that there are situations you must get the heck out of as soon as possible in order for self perseverance so use of good old fashioned common sense is in order. 

Of course contacting your friendly empath can help but please be open to hearing the hard messages as sometimes you won’t get the answer you hope for. At times when I read the energy of people I clearly see the relationship won’t end in a way that the client hopes to hear. That it is not going to be the happily ever after they desire or that the other person is going to cling when really the client hopes they will let go. Either way there are positives to the eventual outcome that I can see and relate to the client, yet usually, almost always, the client wants to only know about the right now or the very soon to come. That is fine because that is what is happening and what we should most focus on as we live in the now, however heeding the long term benefits sure does not hurt. You may even ask your empath what, if any, the long term benefits are! While they may not be able to give you exact details they should be able to tell you if there is any sort of spiritual reason why this person came into your life at this time. Remember almost everyone who plays more than a slight role in your life IS in-fact SOME kind of soul mate on SOME level if even on a small level! Everyone we encounter, more than just on a one time passing, has some play in our eventual life path outcome! We are all soul brothers and sisters in this world together. So even when you feel you are “wasting” time in a situation, a relationship, on whatever path you are on be that a work path, a love path, etc there is a reason for it! 

Something to consider is when getting your next relationship reading, along with all of your questions you ask your empath, psychic, spiritual guide, etc, add in one more question:

If he/she is not “the one” does he/she play any role, directly or subtly on meeting “the one”?

I promise you that more often than not the answer is going to be yes. There is a prediction for you! 

How Psychics Tune In

Every psychic, empath, clairvoyant, etc., that I know tunes in differently. No two people who receive messages connect, or tune in, exactly the same way. For some, it is a matter of meditation, for some it is as something that comes over them like a wave, for others they can tune in on demand. Some intuitives will shield themselves with a barrier of energy so that they do not absorb the energy of others when they are carrying out their own daily routines, while others who are developing their gifts may not want to do this. Sometimes even with putting up that protective barrier, some messages are so intense they must be heard and will be heard regardless. 

For some intuitives, messages, and energy, come at them like a tidal wave, taking over their own personal thoughts, feelings, and needs, this can make it difficult for them to function in the outside world and thus they prefer less of a social life and spend much of their time at home. While any intuitive can learn to protect themselves so they can carry out the most essential activities, it can become difficult to use energy to carry out the protection itself at times. 

Some intuitives like to listen to music to help them focus and tune in while others prefer complete silence, some light candles, or burn incense, or use crystals. It is not always something so mysterious or moviesque however, while we may all have at one time thought of a psychic as a turban wearing gypsy or mystic, most of us are average, every day people, and while I would love to be able to claim gypsy heritage, I cannot. Sometimes the most unusual things can help an intuitive tune in and focus! I find personally some of my most focused times come form the most normal activities such as showering or playing a game of bejeweled on facebook! For me, sometimes tuning out is what helps me tune in the most! 

I am always tickled when someone alludes to me that I should have seen something coming, or that I should have known, regardless of what they are referring to. Being an intuitive, psychic, empath, etc., does not mean that you will go through life foreseeing every single circumstance in your own path ahead. If that were the case we all may as well throw ourselves off the nearest bridge as life would become terribly dull and pointless. Now yes there are multitudes of times that I personally get messages that I did not ask to receive from strangers on the street, the woman in the clothing shop, or the man at the hardware store, and so on, but for the majority of the time I would need to tune in or focus on something in order to get messages from my guides, or from my intuition. So as I am out and about living my life, enjoying my free time, spending time with family, or whatever it is I do as a human being, I am not “tuned in” and honestly I can be quite ditzy and spaced out. That is another side effect at times of the intuitive! Even though one may not be attempting to focus on energy around them to receive messages the energy that is naturally taken in or absorbed by the intuitive seems to over take them and almost give a spinning head feeling, or a surreal take on things. I often find it difficult to focus on shopping, finding specific items, everything seems to fade together and then into the background. It is almost the exact opposite effect of tuning it - it is more like a total mental haze and tuning out. 

As for me, since I can only speak for myself, I need personal clarity in order to tune in and do an accurate reading. For this reason you won’t see me online 24/7 rip roaring and ready to do readings! I only do readings when I am in a place where I can give a client my complete focus. In my personal life more often than not I am turned out, relaxing, and allowing life to flow as it may. I prefer not to be a sponge absorbing the energy of others every where I go as it is too taxing on my energy and literally makes me become ill. Sure, I get signs, signals, and have my intuitive streaks just as you do, just as any person does, if I wanted to take those signs into a focus I could, but often times it is not necessary, and truly not worth the energy it would take to do so. I think often people assume or believe that intuitives automatically just “know” when really it is not that way for most of us, some do, but not most. Sure we get that initial feeling, that gut feeling, intuition, etc, the same intuition most every one experiences, however to plan one’s life on intuition alone can be risky. For me, I like to truly tune in when things matter, but when things really do not matter all that much I prefer to just live my life and let whatever is going to happen simply happen! In other words, when I am out shopping with my daughter, or enjoying a movie with family, I do not “know” what is going to happen next, nor do I want to know! That would make for a very predictable and boring existence! Usually its far more fun to live one’s life with mystery and surprise! This is one reason why I do not post much on my facebook. In my three decades of doing professional readings, and with social media more recently in the forefront of our society, I have been “called out” many times for stating very normal human things such as when something has happened to me while out and about. There is always someone who suggests that I should have seen it coming, or I should have known. Its cute, of course, and I chuckle, but deep down it is insulting and dehumanizing to me. It implies that as a professional intuitive I should not have my personal moments of wonderment, quizzical feelings, or even being puzzled by the way our society is. It makes me feel as though I should be responsible for knowing every fine tuned detail that is going on around me, and while I could take time away from my life, my family, my daughter and say “hey sweetie, mama needs to sit here and focus a few moments while our ice cream melts” ... I refuse. Just as the psychologist may not want to self diagnose a mental disorder, or a doctor would go to another doctor for medical care, or a fireman would call the fire department if his house caught ablaze. 

Tuning in is truly a craft, a skill, and a gift that is developed over time. Intuition is natural to all of us, and the professional empath, or psychic has developed their intuition to a fined tuned and well oiled machine but there are so many different kinds of psychic ability and each one takes different sorts of focus. To really even get a grasp of what it takes for one psychic to tune in would mean you first have to know what their specific psychic skills are. The clairaudient may tune in differently than the clairvoyant, a medium may channel energy differently than a crystal reader, the list goes on and on. How one tunes in becomes a very personal and cherished thing, and is not something that can be offered up with a blanket explanation for every psychic out there. 

For me, first I need to have my house in order, literally, I can’t focus without cleaning up first. I also like to have my pets fed, watered, and give them some love before getting into my work day. I need to be sure my family is set for the day, yeah I suppose that is a little control freakish of me lol but I want to be sure my work is not distracting from energy I should be and would rather be spending on them, no offense to my clients. Lighting is important to me, if day time I prefer natural light with window shades open so the sun can stream in but I am a self admitted night owl. For that reason you will find me far more active in the late after noon and into the wee hours of the night doing readings! Every morning I do a grounding focus so that my energy does not get scattered though out the day. Between each reading I like to cleanse my energy by doing a short deep breathing meditation. This allows my energy to be ready for the next client without residual energy from the one before it funneling over. I need to feel healthy, so diet and some amount of exercise helps a lot! I tend to work a little at some point every day but you will usually only find me very active about three or four days during the week. I rejuvenate my energy by spending time reading, watching television, or doing every day routine chores and errands that many may consider a hassle but for me is enlightening and entertaining as it gets me away from the computer, from behind the desk, and helps me feel normal. 

So, I hope this helps a little in understanding how it is for an intuitive and that no two are exactly the same. I know it does not clear up much because there is no blanket that covers every intuitive, and that may be disconcerting, however if you are curious how your favorite intuitives tune in, don’t be afraid to ask! Most of us are more than happy to tell you! 

With love, 

Azzrian

The Difference Between Cats and Dogs....How Men and Women Love

Are men and woman really all that different in the way they love? For years we have been told yes, in fact they are. Science, spirituality, sociology, psychology, etc., have always said so. Why should we think any differently? Every person on this earth is different. We have sun signs, zodiac charts, nature, nurture, chemistry, sexual orientation, gender, race, socioeconomic background, and many other elements that make up who we are, but when you get right down to it, men and women love in the same way! Okay before I get into that, there are many different ways in which people can show love and I have referenced this in a past article. Some of the ways people show love can be via gifts, words, non verbal communication, doing things for the one they love, etc and so on. I am not going to get back into all of that in this article, however when someone loves you pure and simple male versus female, there are some base elements which will always be the same. 

Desire, Lust, Demonstrative Behaviors, Calling, Texting, Providing, Nurturing, Compassion, Understanding, Listening, Talking, Expression of Goals, Dreams, Plans, just to name a very few!

For some reason, however, many people do not read the tale tale signs that a person simply does not love them! Either we do not want to see it (denial), or we make excuses for them (codependency), or we say we love them unconditionally (bullshit), or whatever .... point is if you love someone take a look at what you are providing, giving, doing for them. Ask yourself if you are loving within reason. If you are and they are not doing the same for you, they don’t love you! 

Now notice I said within reason!!! This is where many people can trip themselves up! A person is entitled to their own identity, friends, plans, career, family, etc. If you are asking a person not stop visiting their family and they wish to, that is not okay. Clearly there are issues that make it so that you really need to take stock in if the two of you should be together. Same goes with friends, career goals, and many other topics too numerous to mention! 

Are you asking the one you love to call you every single day? Some people expect contact via text, email, or phone on the hour! This is not reasonable! If you are being obsessive, controlling, or compulsive, in your relationship chances are you should not even be in a relationship and need to seek help! 

Now assuming most of my readers are mentally stable, I put before you a very basic means in which to determine if a man or woman for that matter is in love with you or not, or at least if there is potential for them TO fall in love with you. 

1. He / She can’t make it to a schedule event, a date you had planned, or something you two agreed to do together, even if it was as simple as movie night at one of your homes. He or She CALLS to tell you they can’t make it! It comes down to simple basic respect! I don’t care if they lack respect for themselves and therefore they could not find it in their tiny little shriveled heart to pick up the phone, that’s enabling their unacceptable behavior! They are assuming you would not have plans you could otherwise do and that you are sitting on pins and needles waiting for them to show up. They have no respect for you or your time! Dump them! They want a second chance? Thats up to you, I mean sometimes sure things happen, maybe there was an actual emergency or something but I’m not referring to that and by no means do you need to make excuses for their bad behavior! If they can’t find the time to alert you to the fact they can’t make it then they are not thinking of you or considering you enough to be in your life. Period! 

2. Their plans with you are always loose and on the fly. So he or she never seems to want to schedule anything with you to a set date and time right? Well right there you see how important you are. Now look, I’m all for setting up the potential casual meet up now and then, as life is not always predictable and your not a mind reader. You don’t even know every moment of every day if YOU will be able to swing a stop off at your favorite local club or coffee shop. So now and then a “hey if your in the area do you want to get a coffee” is fine! But if all your “plans” are non-plans and your both winging it in the so called relationship - its  NOT a relationship! I would not tolerate this of a friend and surely not someone that I think is in love with me! When someone loves you they want to do things with you, they want assurances that you and they will both have time, every moment together is special even if a quick lunch at a place mid way between your offices! Nothing is unimportant and each time you see each other you want to make sure that it works out if possible. The guy or girl who simply never is able to commit to a date surely is not able to commit to you! 

3. They only contact you when they are out with friends, at the bar, late at night, or when other plans fall through. Dear reader, if this is happening to you - you are a booty call! Wake up! Not only are they not in love with you, chances are they don’t really even LIKE you as a person! No one who likes you as a person, has any level of respect for you, or sees any potential in a future with you would treat you this way! DUMP THEM! 

4. They keep going back to their ex. Alright this one is not as cut and dry as other areas,  sometimes finances are involved, sometimes its “for the children”, whatever the reason its pretty simple to understand that this person is not where they need to be in their life in order to be with you. Value yourself, heck for that matter value THEM and where they are in their life path! If you love THEM then perhaps you should love them enough to help them wise up and say “look I care about you but you need time to figure out your path before we can be together” sometimes love is letting go and while we are questioning if someone loves US we need to also question if we REALLY love them! Love is a crazy thing and its sad that timing is not always aligned with someone we want to be with but this is no way to begin a lasting, healthy, love. 

Now sometimes you are simply being fed a line of BS. Yup thats right - its NOT always about the kids, its not always about the finances, sometimes they are not going to leave the marriage or the ex EVER but see a really good thing in having the both of you in their lives! The fact is this is not a relationship I would wish on anyone - as they are extremely taxing on the heart and spirit. They are tricky to manage and really you never feel confident in the future. Now if you find yourself in this place, and you don’t know if they love you or not, try to notice a few tale tale signs: 

Does he or she always bring up negative things about their ex/live in/spouse etc.

I mean sure if you and the one you love have communication things will come up but do they almost always make a point of trying to portray this other person as a horrid? Do they bring them up often enough so that you really truly think you know the other person? Do you find yourself focusing often on how badly the one you love is treated by this person? Do you feel sorry that they are “stuck” with them? Can you come up with valid excuses why they “have” to stay in this other relationship? Yes? Well thats bad because its not your job to make the excuses or “reasons” up! If you can come up with the reasons then its likely you have been brain washed into believing it! If we hear a story so many times we eventually end up believing it and repeating it! If you find yourself doing this you better get out of that relationship! 

Does the one you love intermittently “break things off” with you only to change their mind just about the time you THINK that MAYBE you can move on and let go? This is very typical in a controlling relationship! The skilled cheater will often do this very thing just to make you feel pain and give you the feeling of what it would be like to lose them just so they can make you happy again! Its common for the person to do this right after or before an argument is about to ensue! Its called behavior control! If they can scare you then maybe you will be on better behavior and not challenge them in the future! Maybe you have been too mopey around them or when talking to them and they want their happy person back! After all they are already in one unhappy relationship - they expect happiness from you! Sometimes they will even say that they have thought about things and want to give their relationship with the other person a final try. This keeps you waiting in the wings because after all you have heard you are certain it won’t work and you will be there, waiting for them when they come back to you! All of the above, among other, many other, things are signs to wake up and get out of the relationship! 

5. Do they disappear when you are sick? If you are not feeling well are they there with soup and a warm blanket? No? Why not? You would be for them right? Oh they would not let you in the door? They don’t like you seeing them that way? Well if your going to get married and grow old together surely at some point you will see them sick won’t you? Oh they are germaphobs? Really? Do they go out in the world for a job? Do they not work around sick people they are not even aware of? Again, if you get married and grow old together and you get a serious illness where will they go?  A person who loves you will be there for you - remember “for better or for worse” if they are not living up to what your vows would be why are you with them now? Take stock in how you are treated before you go down an isle - before you even dream about it! It is sad how many women AND men, think that the person they love walks on water and they dream daily about getting married to them when in fact in the dating stage of the relationship they are not even living up to the most basic parts of a commitment! This also goes along with when a family member takes ill! Do they go to the family home with you? Do they go to the hospital with you? Oh their schedule is too busy, or they get antsy in a hospital. Heck I do too, as a natural empath it can be taxing to go into a place where so many people are hurting and ill but I would do it for someone I love! No more excuses! If someone loves you they will do for you what you need and support you and those you love as well. They will not only do it they will WANT to do it! 

6. Separate Vacations - each of you deserve to do things with friends, go places apart. When you or the other person go on vacation do they check out from the relationship? Now I don’t expect anyone to check in with you every hour of the day that is crazy but one call a day, at night perhaps when they are back in their hotel room. A random text with some photo of something cool they saw with a “I miss you” or “wish you were here too” now that is sweet and shows they have you in mind while they are off having fun with friends! If you have not heard hide or hair from them in two days and your wondering if they are dead or alive then this is a sign that your relationship is not made of what it should be! Now I know, from years of doing readings professionally that there are some types of very self involved people, those who are so “in the moment” that they simply do not think of every little thing, but your not a little thing are you? A text or a call per day is warranted and you are by no means “keeping tabs” on them to expect this! Now if you have only been dating a week it may be too soon to expect this much communication but if you have been together more than a month you should! Every situation IS different and I want you to keep in mind these are merely guidelines not gospel but pretty damn close to gospel so don’t allow too much wiggle room on anything! 

There are many more warning signs but these would be the top few. While no two people are the same, nor have the exact same situation, social skills, upbringing or life experiences etc and so on, we can see a common trend when we are not getting what we want, need, or deserve from the person we love. The golden rule, do unto others should always be applied and you should continually ask yourself if both of you are living up to it or not! Now some of us can be overly doting, smothering, clingy, and needy. Sometimes WE are the person at fault for pushing someone away! However, if you consider yourself a fairly balanced and reasonable person, have not been blowing up their phone with texts, and have given them ample space to be themselves, and you still are not getting the basic respect and love you deserve you must, MUST, seriously ask yourself if you are being loved. The easiest way to know this is if you FEEL loved! The best way to determine this is by asking yourself mostly if you feel loved when you and the other person are NOT together! Its easy to feel “loved” in the throws of passion, when he or she are being satisfied by you, when they are sitting next to you sipping hot cocoa cuddled up watching a movie for the first time in months, etc. That soaring feeling of raw chemistry and emotion can totally lie to us! Be careful and be warned that the best time to ask yourself “does he/she love me?” is when you are not together based on if you FEEL loved! 

Keep in mind there are situations and circumstances that can overshadow the above however they are the baseline general rule of thumb to follow. If you feel you have circumstances outside of the norm you can always get a psychic reading, but it is my hopes to save you some money on them by referencing the above. Men and women do not love differently - at least not any differently than each persons character, personality, upbringing, etc and so on allow. In a nutshell men love as deeply and as blindly as women. Women love as passionately and sexually as men. Men love as emotionally and sensitively as women. When someone is IN LOVE they love with their heart, trying to put the other person’s needs first, caring for them, standing up for them and providing for them. They take time and make time for them. They try to do special things for them be that through words, actions, behaviors or whatever. Each person loves in their own way yes, some through gifts and travel, others through sweet sentimental words, some by preparing a wonderful dinner and putting rose petals on the bed. Not every person will EXPRESS their love in the same way but everyone will at least TRY something, if they are in love! 

With love, 

Azzrian Visions

Creative and Romantic Gift Ideas for the Holidays

No matter how you celebrate the holidays, no matter what your faith, offer something to your loved ones that will truly be remembered:

Create a Scrapbook of precious keepsakes from your time together. Some goodies you can incorporate into your scrapbook include:

Photos of special moments together, Movie ticket stubs, concert tickets, A ribbon from your hair, A cut out of the box top of chocolates he gave to you, For the men, a cut out from a magazine of her favorite perfume that you love, A page of special dates you have shared together, A love letter, A lock of your hair, A list of your all time favorite moments together, Be imaginative and creative and have fun! Include things that will make your loved one laugh and smile and things that melt their heart! 

Jewelry

Yes its common, but stands the test of time. Especially for the lady in your life men. A lot of ladies will say they don’t need flashy jewelry to be happy but I have never seen a woman cry over getting something shiny and sparkly for the holidays! Its in our genes and we can’t honestly deny the desire to slide a new ring on our finger, or the feel of that chain around our neck, just be sure you offer to place it there! Before buying jewelry however, especially for the men, take note of if your loved one tends to wear silver, or gold, and if her style is more bohemian or flashy. You want to be sure you have her style down and if all else fails get something with both silver and gold in it that is basic. Ladies, don’t forget many men also enjoy a little pizazz! 

Gift Baskets

Sure anyone can pick out an item and wrap it in a box with a pretty bow but only you know your loved one well enough to know exactly the kind of items to put in their custom made gift basket! Give baskets can be creative, fun, whimsical, romantic, or just plain zany! If your loved one is a huge comic book fan then make them a comic book gift basket with some rare old books and a few new ones that may inspire adding to their collection. Got a sci fi fan in your life? A few DVD’s of classic Sci Fi movies along with a few new ones and a couple Sci Fi figurines would make their day! Does your lady love gourmet coffee? Give her a variety of coffees along with a custom made coffee mug but don’t forget the biscotti and chocolate covered espresso beans! Really anything your loved one is into can be incorporated into a fabulous gift basket! This lets your loved one know that you took the time to really consider THEM when picking out their gift! 

A Sweater

Yup I know it seems almost TOO simple, TOO basic, but if you live in a cold climate nothing is better than the feel of a quality sweater against one’s skin when its cold outside! Every time there is a rush of cold air they will think of you and thank you for giving them something so cozy and love should make one feel cozy and warm! Of course you want a sweater that is made well and will stand the test of time, just like your love. Try to stay away from busy patterns and outlandish colors unless of course that is what your loved one is into. Neutral tones, and solid patterns usually will be worn more often and match more of their other clothing. If sweaters are not your style consider the same idea with cozy pajamas or a very thick comforting robe! Snuggies are great for your nephew or college aged student, but your loved one deserves something a bit more lavish! 

A DVD of the first movie you saw together or a CD that has the first song you danced to as a couple on it. 

You can of course add more to this idea if you want to make it even more special but you would need to be a little creative. Attach a handwritten letter to your loved one on nice paper telling them all the thoughts and emotions that were going on inside of you on that date, or at that time! Tell them how nervous you were, or how you could not even keep your mind on the movie, or how you thought it cute when he slyly put his arm behind you at the theatre, or how stunning she looked on the dance floor. Whatever comes to mind just say it - as long as it is from the heart! 

A Love Letter

What ever happened to the art of writing? A handwritten letter from you to your loved one is a gift that simply can’t be beat anytime of the year! With cell phones and computers written communication has become a thing of the past but in almost every classic romance it is the love letter that is a cherished item, an item one keeps forever. 

You can write about a specific time spent together, a vacation you took, something you want to experience yet with him or her, write about what makes them so wonderful to you, you can write about all the things you want to give them or do for them in life, you can write about their beauty, the possibilities are endless. I find one of the main reasons people do not write more love letters is because they just don’t know where to begin. So pick a topic, that will help you figure out what to put on paper and remember there are no rules, you can say whatever is in your heart. 

A Photo Blanket

Many online and retail stores offer speciality items in their photography section. Simply do a google search of Personalized Photo Blanket to find sources. A blanket will keep your loved one warm all season long but also remind them of the special person who gifted it to them! The photo you choose for the blanket can be one of the two of you, your family, your loved one with their children or pet, or you can make a custom collage of things special to that person. Maybe they love a special orchard you had your first picnic at or maybe they love super heros, you could put a picture of Captain America on it with a message that they are YOUR super hero! Be creative and consider your loved one and have something special made just for them! 

A Top 10 List of what you love about him or her! 

There is nothing sweeter than reminding your loved one what it is you love about them! In my business clients ask this question so often “what does he / she love about me?” We humans need to know what makes our loved one’s heart melt! We want to know what traits we have that make them care for us because we not only need that ego boost but even more so because we want to continue those characteristics on for them! Let your loved one know what you love most about them for the holidays! 

Love Coupon Book

Sure, you can purchase one but they are usually so corny or have things in them we would either never do or do not have things in them we wish they did! Get crafty this holiday season! You can do it on the computer or by hand and if you are not artistically talented don’t worry about that. I gave one to my husband once that looked like a 5 year old created it as I am far from crafty but it is not the look that matters, rather what you put into it! Your loved one will be thrilled to get a custom made coupon book just for them made just by you! Some ideas you can incorporate, include:

Massage, Breakfast in Bed, For the men, ladies, you can wash his car for him in your bikini, For the ladies, men, you can draw her a bubble bath and warm her favorite pajamas for her in the dryer and lay them out for her, a warm towel is an extra little goodie, Offer to do house chores that are not normally your responsibility, A romantic candle lit dinner for two at home, Offer to watch a chick flick or man show with your loved one, Sexual favors are always a plus in these coupon books too! Again use your imagination, show your loved one that you know what they want most by giving them coupons for it! 

Boudoir Photos! 

This one speaks for itself and men, don’t think that this is just something the ladies do for you! Men can also get very seductive photos taken of themselves for the woman in their life! Men can dress up for their lady in a fireman’s outfit, as an officer, whatever your woman desires, or go natural standing by your car, motorcycle, or with your baseball bat, any woman who loves you will love this gift! Ladies, we know what men like, and don’t be shy about flaunting what you got! You too can play dress up in a naughty milk maid outfit, as a nurse, or you can go natural as well. Sexy photos need not be slutty or overly provocative, and can be done with great taste! Make sure you check out the photographer before setting your appointment of course! 

What are some of your romantic gift ideas? Feel free to leave comments below to inspire others and show us your great ideas! 

Love, 

Azzrian